From The Ground Up
by ShikonNoMiko
Summary: Kagome is falling dangerously into despair, will someone be able to help her before it's too late?
1. Kagome's Despair

A/N: Hey this is my first ficcie on FF.net. This story is going to be very angsty and hopefully some citrus will emerge in later chapter. This is a reply to my own challenge on my website.  
  
Kagome sat upon a hill over looking the river, they had stopped since early evening because Kikyo had showed up to "talk". As she gazed at the reflection of the waning moon in the calm water she let her thoughts drift to what Inu-Yasha had said, or rather yelled at her earlier.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"Useless wench!" Inu-Yasha yelled. As Kagome quickly tried to gather the arrow she had let slip to the ground before she could notch it. Just then something whizzed past her head and embedded itself in the demon they were fighting, light seeped forth from the wound and the demon let out an ungodly screech as it was demolished by the holy magic that the arrow contained. Kagome then watched as if frozen as Kikyo floated to the ground and retrieved the Shikon Shard, which was embedded in the demon's remains. Inu-Yasha just stood there staring at the undead miko. Suddenly as if drawn out of a dream he turned his eyes on Kagome harshly.  
  
"Can't you do anything right? You useless bitch. I wish you were more like Kikyo."  
  
~Flashback~  
  
'Useless.that's all I'll ever be to anybody. I might as well give my soul back to Kikyo, then at least somebody will be happy. Everything bad that happens is my fault anyway it would be better if I were gone. I broke the Shikon No Tama, I made Inu-Yasha get hurt when he was vulnerable, if it weren't for me Sango-chan's family might still be alive.everything that goes wrong is always a consequence to my decisions or actions. It would be better for everyone if I just died. Even my family would be better off without me. I bet that if I died nobody would even notice until about a week later. Would they even notice then? Inu-Yasha probably wouldn't even care, he would probably be happy that a useless wench like me were gone then he could get his precious Kikyo to take my place.'  
  
Kagome thought as she watched Inu-Yasha take Kikyo's hand in his gently as he looked upon her with love and sorrow.  
  
'For some reason I no longer scorn Kikyo, I understand now. I am just her replacement until this quest is over then, then I go back to my meaningless life in the future. Until then I'll play happy little Kagome.until then.I'll suffer.'  
  
Kikyo finally made away on her soul-stealing demons as Inu-Yasha walked towards his forest. Sango-chan and Miroku-sama took Shippou-chan with them back to the Kaede-baba's village, when she had told them she wished to stay behind they had looked at her with concern filled eyes yet she put up her cheerful façade and told them she wish to be alone to think and the grassy knoll seemed inviting. They had looked back worriedly as Miroku had told her it was too dangerous by herself and that if she wished he would stay and accompany her. But she quickly dismissed them saying she was close enough to the village to scream if she needed help. They finally conceded and made their way to the village.  
  
A/n: Aww poor Kagome. Well review and tell me what you think. Sorry the chapter is so short but more will come soon. 


	2. Kagome's Rage

A/N: Chappie 2 is here! I thought I might as well write it since I was on a roll here ya go!  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: Kagome's Rage  
  
  
  
Kagome sat in the grass the cool blades tickling her skin as they blew in the gentle breeze. Kagome sat staring at the Shikon shards they had collected so far. They seemed to glow in the darkness of the night. They seemed to be a miniscule problem in her life compared to everything else and she yawned tiredly as she lay back in the grass.  
  
'Better be a good Tama detector and get some rest.'  
  
Kagome thought as she closed her eyes letting her tears fall as she fell into the realm of dreams.  
  
~*~&~*~  
  
Kagome forced her eyes open as she awoke to the usual insults of a certain Half demon. She sighed inwardly and resolved to act like her happy self and force a smile on her lips as she saw her comrades walking toward her from the village. Her facial muscles screamed in protest and her chest had a dull pain in it as she let out a half hearted laugh as the kitsune attached himself to her chest. The pain only got worse when she was reminded Inu-Yasha had been the one who roused her from her slumber.  
  
"Stupid bitch! What are you doing out here. It's dangerous, you could have been killed!" Inu-Yasha ranted on.  
  
Kagome could feel anger rise inside her.  
  
'How dare he pretend like he cares! Especially after last night.'  
  
She thought as he kept on berating her as if she weren't there. Her face turn angry and her eyes went icy as he kept on talking down to her.  
  
"Shut up." Kagome whispered. Shippou being the only one close enough to hear her looked up worriedly at whom he considered to be his foster mother, while Inu-Yasha kept rambling.  
  
"Shut up." She said a little louder, yet Inu-Yasha paid no heed to her.  
  
"SHUT UP!" She yelled as she locked her icy tear filled eyes with his.  
  
"How dare you." She ground out just above a whisper. "How dare you act like you care. I'd rather have you treat me like shit, than keep changing at least then I wouldn't have to keep wondering how much you hate me!" She said voice raising with every word spoken. Inu-Yasha's eyes widened at her sudden outburst.  
  
"Wha-"  
  
"SIT!"  
  
Inu-Yasha was cut off as Kagome sent him flying into the ground.  
  
"Fucking wen-"  
  
"SIT! SIT! SIT!"  
  
She yelled before he could finish.  
  
"I try to be a good tama detector, really I do! But all you ever do is insult me! Don't talk to me again Inu-Yasha or I'll kill you!!!"  
  
She yelled her face contorted in rage as Shippou jumped to Sango's shoulder rubbing his sensitive ears. Kagome stomped off toward the well as her friends stared at her eyes wide with shock.  
  
"Kagome has been angry before but.she never went as far as saying she hated someone." Sango said shock evident in her voice.  
  
"Yes, and she swore. Very un-Kagome like, if you ask me." Miroku stated.  
  
"She hates me?" Inu-Yasha asked no one in particular as he stared dazedly where Kagome had run off to, his eyes filled with hurt.  
  
"What did you do this time you big dumb ass?!" Shippou asked harshly, the words sounding strange coming from his mouth, as he looked far too young to use such language. At his words all eyes turned to Inu-Yasha expectantly.  
  
"What?" Inu-Yasha snapped. At that Sango pat her Boomerang bone with maniacal glee in her eyes promising him pain if he didn't fix the current issue swiftly.  
  
"Fine! I'll go after her.I didn't even do anything this time!" He growled as he walked sullenly away from the group toward where the raging Kagome had gone.  
  
A/N: If anyone wants me to use the Japanese spelling for anything like demon or half-demon or any of their weapons please tell me and also tell me how to spell them. I knew the name of Sango's weapon but I wasn't sure how to spell it. Isn't it something like, Hiratskotu or something lol. I don't know. Anyway review please. I want ten more reviews before the next chapter!! Or no update! So review, review, review!!! Tell me what you think so far. I don't think I've ever read any stories where what I'm gonna make happen actually happens (sing song voice kicks in) so I know you'll want to read more. 


	3. Kagome's Forgiveness

Chapter 3: Kagome's forgiveness  
  
A/N: If you want me to use Japanese words please send them to me because I don't know how to spell them, I know how to say them but I don't want to look like a retard and spell them wrong. Lol. Umm.anyway here's the third chapter.  
  
  
  
Inu-Yasha watched Kagome as she stomped into her room, and Inu-Yasha flinched as she slammed the door violently.  
  
'Note to self: Wait until she cools down to talk to her.'  
  
Inu-Yasha thought to himself as he pictured her sitting him into the seventh layer of hell. Suddenly his attention was drawn back to Kagome as she collapsed into tears on her bedroom floor. Inu-Yasha felt his heart drop as he saw the tears run rampant down her cheeks and wondered what he had done this time to upset her so much.  
  
'Sure I called her names and everything but I have always done that so why would she start crying over it now? Kikyo would never act like this.'  
  
Inu-Yasha sighed exasperated. Then his eyes widened with shock, as he finally understood why she might be so angry. He watched her for while longer until it looked as if she was so tired from crying she couldn't fight with him if she wanted to, then he jumped to her window sliding it open and inviting himself in. Kagome looked up at him with her eyes swollen and red from crying.  
  
"What do you want Inu-Yasha?" She asked in an empty, broken voice. She didn't care anymore; when she had gotten home her mother had told her she had already packed her another bag to go back with. When Kagome told her she wasn't going back her mother had frowned and told her she had to because she hadn't noticed it until Kagome had started going to the past but she loved the free time it gave her to only have one child again. Then she looked at Kagome with anger in her eyes and told her to stop being selfish, and called her a whore and said she had probably already slept with the half-demon and to be honest she thought she have had at least one illegitimate grandchild by now. That's when she had run up to her room and slammed her door.  
  
Kagome looked up at him tears still trickling down her flushed cheeks every now and then. Inu-Yasha looked at her with pity in his eyes and Kagome managed a dry laugh as she looked back down to her hands.  
  
"Have you come to insult me some more? To drag me back only to tell me how useless I am? Or do you just feel like telling me how much I could never compare to Kikyo? Why don't you just rip my heart out with your claws Inu- Yasha? You'd be doing me a favor really." She said in a low voice just about a whisper, half hoping he would kill her and half hoping for him to say or do something that would give her the will to live.  
  
Inu-Yasha looked down at her and realized it was his fault he had been killing her with his sharp barbs and nasty words since they had met. He felt something jab at his heart and knelt down before the broken girl to gather her in his arms.  
  
"I'm sorry Kagome, I'm sorry." He whispered to her over and over until the girl in his arms went slack and her breath evened out. He picked her sleeping form up and settled her on her bed. He looked at her face in the late afternoon sunshine and sat next to her bed to await her awakening.  
  
'I never knew my words hurt her so much.' He thought as he sat next to her bed, 'I feel like scum, I've made my best friend want to die, I made her loose her will to live.I have to apologize and even that won't be enough to make up for it.' He thought as he dozed off.  
  
When Kagome awoke there was a tuft of white hair in front of her face, then she looked around and realized Inu-Yasha was sitting by her bed sleeping. She smiled a little but then remembered the events of the day and her eyes filled with tears again.  
  
' To be honest my mothers words had stung a lot more than Inu-Yasha's but maybe that's because I am used to hearing Inu-Yasha insult me, but her mother.'  
  
Kagome thought as Inu-Yasha stirred.  
  
"Inu-Yasha, lets go back." Kagome said in a voice void of any emotion. Inu- Yasha looked at her sadly feeling like the swamp slime he was for making her feel this way. As she got to her feet and headed toward the door he stopped her and pulled her into an embrace. She was too stunned to do anything for a moment but soon started to struggle. 'I don't want to get hurt again.' She thought as she frantically tried to free herself from his touch but in the and she gave in and hugged him back tightly as she cried wondering why her instincts always told her to trust him after he had hurt her so many times. "Kagome," He whispered into her hair. "I'm so sorry, I never realized.I mean I didn't know that I hurt you so much.I thought you knew that's just how I am, I'm just a big asshole Kagome and I'm sorry. I don't really mean all the things I say to you, you should know that Kagome." Inu-Yasha said shushing her quiet sobs. "Kagome you're my best friend and I love you." Inu- Yasha said not thinking about his words just wanting to make his best friend feel better.  
  
'Yes Inu-Yasha I know you love me and I know I'm your best friend but you don't love me the way I need to be loved.' Kagome thought as she cried harder into his chest.  
  
A/n: So what do you think? I don't know if her mother would really act like that but she's going to in my story. Well RnR. 


	4. Kagome's Wish

Chapter 4: Kagome's Wish  
  
A/N: Here's chapter 4! Hope you like it! Ja!  
  
  
  
Kagome smiled but something still tugged at her heart, deep down she knew Inu-Yasha had just blurted that out but it had made her happy to know that someone cared even a little. Yet.yet it didn't help her very much, she knew he loved her, but it didn't feel like the kind of love she needed.  
  
'I guess this is better than nothing.' Kagome thought as they walked down the path toward Kaede's house. When they got back Kaede and the others had just settled down for dinner. When they walked in all eyes turned to Kagome, and upon seeing everything looking safe they smiled gently and the kit, as if on cue jumped into the air to fling himself into her body.  
  
"I missed you Kagome, I thought you were never going to come back. What did Dog face do this time?" Shippou asked sending a glare in Inu- Yasha's direction. Kagome's smile faltered as the kit mentioned the happening of that morning and forced the lump that had started forming in her throat down.  
  
"I'm starved!" She said putting a huge smile on her face. She sat next to Sango as Kaede handed her a bowl of food. Everyone ate in reverent silence. When they had all finished Sango had taken Kagome over into a corner of the room.  
  
"Kagome, you know if you ever need to talk I'll be here for you, we all will Kagome, we are all worried about you. You act weird lately always trying to seclude and isolate yourself." Sango whispered so as no one else in the room would hear. Sango looked at Kagome as her eyes watered a little and her smile faltered but Kagome quickly fought back the emotions she now considered weak and put the façade back up.  
  
"I'm fine Sango really, I've just been stressed out lately, nothing to worry about." Kaogme said happily as she turned to find her sleeping bag.  
  
"I'm tired!" Kagome said faking a yawn. She laid out her sleeping bag and crawled inside it, everybody soon following her decision to sleep. Kagome was exhausted from the days events and even if she didn't it keeping her emotions in check took it's toll, but no matter how she tried to sleep something nagged at the back of her mind as if urging her to open her eyes. Finally she gave up and opened them.  
  
'Where's Inu-Yasha?' Kagome asked herself as she looked around the little hut everyone else was sleeping besides her. 'It must be like eleven o'clock.' She thought to herself. Suddenly she found herself up and walking out the door. Something inside her dragging her body as if she had no control over her actions. Soon she found herself standing in the brush next to a small clearing, her eyes heavy as she started to fall asleep on her feet and yet right before she did she glanced at the small clearing and what she saw woke her up like she had just had a bucket of cold water thrown over her head. She stared wide-eyed at Inu- Yasha as he and the Undead Whore(aka Kikyo.) blatantly made out right in the middle of some clearing. She could hear small moans as They had started loosening each other clothes and could hear the words of love that were soft spoken by Inu-Yasha. Kagome looked down at the Shikon Jewel shards she had and then nodded her head resolutely as if she had made a final decision she then turned on her heal and left the heart-wrenching scene behind her to unfold as it would.  
  
'Who am I to stop him from doing what he wants? I don't care for him anymore, how could he say something like that to me and turn around and betray my trust.AGAIN! All the heart ache you've caused Inu-Yasha, it won't go unpunished.'  
  
Kagome thought darkly as she made her way down a path she had never noticed before and for once not caring whether or not it was safe only caring to find a place where she could be alone. When she finally stopped walking she notice her leg muscles were burning and that her throat was so dry it felt like fly paper when she swallowed. She noticed she was in a small thicket and could hear water a little ways south and stored that in her memory for later use. She then fell to her knees and finally let a tear escape but quickly held herself in check and ripped the necklace with the Shikon Jewel from its customary place about her neck. She smiled as she looked at the jewel as the moon beams from overhead made them shine and twinkle. She felt the power pulling at her, promising her the revenge she so desired, promising her power to control her own life again, promising she would never again feel the pain of heart break if she but wished it so. So she did, she wished for a long time with the large portion of the Shikon jewel clenched so tightly in her hands that her knuckles turned white under the strain, she sat like that until morning mumbling her wish under her breath pleading with the Tama to make her pain disappear and help her gain the control she needed over her life, and as the first rays of dawn filtered through the thicket and landed upon the Tama it dissipated into the air and Kagome collapsed upon the ground unknowing of the changes that were to occur while she slept long into the next night.  
  
  
  
A/n: So.What do you think so far? Who will help Kagome before she does something she will regret? More importantly What's happening to her anyways? RnR. 


End file.
